Stephanie's Swimming Lessons

Ok, I need to write my own post about swimming lessons.
People... I  FULL ON turned into THAT mom before and after swimming lessons. 

You know what I'm talking about.

Disclaimer 1:  I need to say this... I will delete this post before this blog becomes a book, because it is not something I want Michael to be able to read later on- but I need to process.

Disclaimer 2: I lifeguarded at this same pool 4 years and was an assistant manager for 2 years, for a combined total of 5 FULL (meaning I was there everyday) summers. Growing up, I was the kid that arrived at the pool early (like an hour early) every day with goggles on- ready to go- green hair and all. I have an emotional attachment to that place and I know how things are supposed to run and I know what swimming lessons are supposed to look like.

Disclaimer 3: My expectations for swimming lessons this year was for Michael to gain more experience in the water and to enjoy himself. My thought behind this is that in coming years he can learn more and will want to learn more. He's three and I just wanted him to have a good experience.

Act 1- My mom purchased these lessons for Michael as a gift, honestly, I wouldn't have signed him up this young (as they are not survival swim classes but the Red Cross classes- therefore I knew he wasn't going to walk away from them being able to float/ kick to the side/ etc. to save his life- nothing wrong with Red Cross- just a different approach)- but I figured it was something fun for him to do and he LOVES the water, plus I knew that there is usually a 3-ish year old class. So, the day I signed Michael up for lessons, I called and asked typical questions (even though I already knew most of the answers) Yes they will take a 3 year old- yes we always have other 3 year olds- yes there is an opening for the 9 O'clock session in June. I also asked if the daycare in town had signed up yet and when they were coming (not that I have anything against them, but with 40 kids added to the roster it makes each class pretty full and the pool almost crowded. I just want to  know because I would think the daycare would do the 9 O'clock session and I prefer that time because then I can get my daughter home to nap- but would probably change times regardless of that if the 2 daycares in town sign their kids up for that time) Maria- the manager on the other end of the phone said the day care wasn't signed up yet so I asked if she could call me back if they signed up for said time.

The problem is, that I TOLD her all of those details about nap time and the pool being crowded and me not having anything against day care kids- which by default makes her think I DO have a problem with them, makes me look like I am high maintenance and an over sharer- I am an over sharer sometimes.

WHY! 
Why do I do that?
 I don't owe anyone an explanation of my parenting, the questions I might have or my tactics for why I'm doing X,Y and Z to make the day work for my family! I "over detail share" ALL the time and am specifically working on it- because for some reason I feel the need to explain myself in detail when I'm asking a question or doing something against the grain. I know when I'm doing it too- it's not one of those things I realize in hindsight- I am telling myself to SHUT UP whilst I am spilling my background thoughts and philosophies. What is this need I have for people to deeply understand and think I'm not crazy- because in an effort to "explain myself" I MAKE them think I'm crazy. I should just leave well enough alone! I really AM confident in my choices and am not going to change something once I've made my mind up so I don't know why I continue to do this- good grief! As a side note- I'm sure the pool people thought I was nuts because I made Michael shower down before he got into the pool and shower after- every single day. He screamed because the water is cold and I held him in and got wet myself on a few occasions. I did NOT explain to them, or any witnesses in the bathroom, how Michael has a history of randomly sensitive skin and I could smell the chlorine in the pool house and I know the pH is higher in the morning before the sun has baked it and I want his skin to soak up normal water before he gets in the pool... - I just let them think I was being mean- because it doesn't matter. See, I DO have the capacity to control myself!

To recap:
I have problems
Pool people already think I'm crazy...

Act 2- THAT'S RIGHT THERE'S MORE! 
The first day of lessons it was clear that the teachers assigned to our class ( which included 5-5 year olds, 2- 4 year olds and 1-3 year old) didn't have any idea how to communicate with or what and how to make things appropriate for young children (or any children for that matter.)

 Case in point-
they called the children over and read EVERY LINE and WORD of the pool rules with them out of their little paper packet (not in an age appropriate manner),

didn't introduce themselves to the kids AT ALL,

Only 1 of the 5 instructors got wet above their rib cage- THE WHOLE FIRST WEEK- I kept track.

And they were content to call Michael "bubbles" because he was blowing them in the water when they asked him to introduce himself and Michael- being a bit timid as he hadn't been introduced to the big people talking to him- didn't answer. (Not against nicknames in general- but think of how that must have felt to an already nervous 3 year old, to have people, older "adult" people, laughing at him when he wasn't trying to be funny)

So when they went back through the line and made sure they knew each child's name they came to Michael last and laughingly called him "Bubbles" without giving him another opportunity to say his name or changing their proximity to him in an effort to make him more comfortable in a new situation. I will add here that not only was Michael uncomfortable because of this, but so were the other kids- anyone with eyes that see could have seen that. (I don't think they had mal- intent I DO think that they were trying to be funny amongst themselves and show off to each other without being thoughtful or appropriate to the children in their care- it's a maturity and realization of their presence to a child- thing)

Then they proceeded to line the kids up on the wall to quote "practice kicks and start back floating" (this is not even close to an appropriate starting point for this age group and 3 kids were reluctant to get off the steps- why would they start at kicks and FLOATING.) Michael wouldn't leave the steps (he couldn't touch the bottom off of the steps) and one of the instructors right away gave him this look like he was going to be the naughty, uncooperative child... Michael began backing off of the steps because he didn't want to go it the water. OF COURSE he didn't because guess what? He isn't comfortable with his instructors- how could he be? 
This all happened in the first 5 minutes...

SO YOU KNOW I WALKED OVER.

I lovingly took Michael's hand (he was nervous for sure) I helped Michael introduce himself and had him tell the class he "JUST turned 3 a couple of weeks ago and that he loves the water and had a whale cake" (hoping to give the instructors an interest to work with and the knowledge that he is a full year younger then anyone else, so that they might get the hint that maybe they should split the class and put those 3 kids in their own class or at least realize that the expectations- socially and physically- are going to have to be a little different on day one for some things)

THEN,

I (as in a random parent at the swimming lessons- because the guards don't know that I know what they should be doing) proceeded to direct the "teachers" in introducing themselves to the class and politely suggested (in front of the class and other parents- sadly, there was no other way at this point) that they begin with seeing who can blow bubbles and put their faces in the water.

I know.

awkward.

but it WAS SO BAD guys- I didn't want Michael's first "outside of home and church teaching experience" to be like that and I only saw it getting worse and not just for Michael, but for a couple other ones too.  

Act 3: Yep, still more...

There were several times throughout the 1st week that Michael didn't want to get in the water to try something new- again, why would he when the teachers are not seemingly loving and kind, there needs to be trust here. But on one such occasion he was loving him some diving for the rings- he was putting his face in and everything having a ball, he wanted one of the teachers to drop it for him and practice with him and since most of the class was working on something else they just ignored him! I understand if you have to move on but don't ignore a child who's wanting to participate and practice. There were 8 kids in his class and 5 teachers, but a set of siblings weren't here this day- so the ratio was 6 to 5. I watched as almost EVERY SINGLE TEACHER in his class (and EVERY teacher that came close enough for him to ask) ignored his request for them to help him.

SO YOU KNOW I WALKED OVER.

I eyed the manager walking over with a clipboard for one of the teachers in our class, so as I walked over, I said, loud enough for her to hear, "Here buddy, I'll practice with you. Or if you want you can ask Nathan- he's wet." Nathan was super sweet (he wasn't there the first day) and tried alot harder then most of his colleagues and acted like he actually wanted to work there and teach lessons. 

It was not my most mature moment, but it was either that or drown a lifeguard...

There are several more smaller incidents and lack lusters but these are sufficient for my venting.

End Scene:
The 2nd week was better. Michael warmed up to the teachers and I think they realized that they had preschoolers and not 12 year olds in class and worked harder to be more age appropriate. Michael had fun and that is all that matters, he has no lasting "damage" from those first few days.

Epilogue:
I debated talking to the manager after that first day- but decided against it because I truly felt like I would be misunderstood and it would be an unproductive situation and as such might make things  worse for Michael (as far as their willingness to work individually with him when he needed it), also, I felt like the lifeguards were truly inexperienced and uncomfortable- as opposed to uncaring. Throughout the 2 weeks there was still an overtone of uncomfortableness in regards to the lifeguards being able to work at an appropriate age level with the kids, although it got better and I did notice other parents in our class speaking up as to what might work better for their child- which no doubt helped the lifeguards feel more confident in what to do. I tried to guide them nicely in regards to how to help Michael participate without solving it for them (if you give a man a fish, right?). I tried to put myself back to when I was teaching lessons as a teenager and soften my heart a little bit. At this point part of me feels like maybe I should write a letter or something- but I don't know how to go about it appropriately and in a way that will actually create a change. I specifically observed the other classes and no one else seemed to be having the problems we were. So maybe it will fix itself in time and with different mixes of teachers. I stand by what I did and feel like someone had to do something- I truly was concerned about the experience for the kids in the class- specifically mine.

Whoo, glad I got that off my chest. There will probably be more "That mom" posts in years to come as I will continue to learn and grow and thankfully, so will my kids;)